what to do when your partner is too needy
Written by Author's Corps member Alexis Anderson
A lot of united states are clingy sometimes, specially at the start of a new relationship. When everything feels fresh and exciting and y'all tin can't wait to hang out over again and again. It can come up as a surprise when your partner asks for infinite. While clingy tendencies may have been "ok" in your previous relationship, being overly needy is mostly considered a toxic dating addiction. As Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D., points out in her article Why Clingy Partners Cling , clingy partners usually have low self-esteem and "fearfulness becoming abandoned," despite having a positive outlook on their romantic partner. As a upshot, "they seek constant reassurance, emotional support, and closeness." And what's worse is many clingy or obsessive behaviors are portrayed as idyllic in movies and literature, making it difficult to tell when you're being overbearing.
So, where exercise you depict the line between being flirty and being clingy? Hither are 5 clingy relationship behaviors to scout out for and how to accost them:
1. Y'all're Neglecting Your Friends
It is normal to want to spend a lot of fourth dimension with your partner. These feelings can exist intensified in a new relationship leading the both of you to fail your relationships with family and friends. However, you shouldn't feel pressured to sacrifice time at work, with friends, or time needed for yourself to be with your partner. If your significant other is constantly making you experience guilty for time spent apart, you should communicate how unfair and unhealthy information technology is to make y'all feel guilty for needing time to yourself. You cannot be everything to your partner and it'south important to make connections with people outside of your human relationship.
ii. They're Monitoring their Social Media Activity
If your significant other is frequently questioning you virtually your human relationship with people on social media, wanting to run across your text messages or making harsh accusations based on little to no data, you should address the insecurity right away. As well, if in that location is trust in your relationship you shouldn't check your partner's social media activity to confirm their whereabouts. Having a discussion that gets to the root of their insecurity or distrust can help resolve this invasive beliefs. Be sure to emphasize that you are not okay with the behavior and would like to know the motivation behind it.
3. They're Irrationally Jealous
Jealousy is an emotion that everyone feels on occasion but it is important that information technology's communicated in a good for you way. That said, your partner shouldn't exist lashing out when you mention, spend time with, or communicate with anyone they feel threatened by. Jealousy doesn't have to ruin your relationship. Honest communication is the first step in addressing the problem. If you sense your partner is jealous, open the conversation and ask them why they feel this mode. From there, you can try to resolve these feelings by discussing it further. If the issue isn't resolved, you take to plant boundaries regarding behaviors you volition not tolerate similar prying questions about your social media or trying to control your interactions with others online.
4. They Message You Excessively
Getting a lot of messages from your partner is fine, simply the content of those letters is what matters most. If you are getting an overload of messages demanding whereabouts or making accusations, this is unhealthy for your relationship. Information technology is important to explain to your partner that you do not owe them information. This volition open the chat to setting boundaries and hopefully resolve the underlying insecurities causing the behavior.
5. They're Speeding the Human relationship Up Also Speedily
Talk to your partner most moving too quickly if they're pressuring y'all to take big steps in your relationship, like maxim "I honey you" before you lot're fix. While ideally, you desire to grow together, it's of import to exist on the same page in terms of the amount of time and attention yous can requite to 1 another. If you feel your partner is moving as well speedily, you should be honest about your comfortability. To open the conversation, ask them what their current expectations are in the relationship. And make sure you lot're honest about your expectations every bit well. Setting boundaries for the pace you lot would like to take will improve your confidence in your relationship and relieve any pressures to move faster.
On 1 hand, information technology's totally normal for your partner to need you, however, the trouble comes when they become emotionally overbearing. In almost cases, your partner won't know how their neediness impacts your relationship–in which case, the behaviors can exist resolved through open communication. Beingness honest about what concerns you and getting clear on your motivation will aid them move by these unhealthy behaviors. That said, we understand that setting boundaries with your partner tin can be difficult. Have a await at this article for more tips on handling conflict.
And if your partner displays one or more than of these clingy behaviors and open communication about how information technology'due south making you lot feel does not result in changes in their behavior, that's a sign that the relationship is unhealthy and you should talk to someone or get help. Connect with a peer advocate in real time by texting "loveis" to 22522 or phone call 1-866-331-9474.
Source: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-clingy-relationship-behaviors-hurting-love-life/
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